My unfiltered experience as CEO
Pros
I was overpaid by a wide margin. Seriously, it had to be a computer error. I have no idea how I was even hired. I walked into their headquarter’s lobby to use the bathroom on my way to enlist in the Navy down the street, and I wound up running a logistics meeting for three members of the board forty minutes later. Crazy how a little bathroom chit-chat can change one’s life.
Cons
There are some real pieces of doo-doo still around from the old days. These people are still calling native americans “indians”. Get with the times, folks. Also, the company slashed my snack budget by 80% Yoy, and I’m obviously the one who approves the final budget (CEO). Somehow they still snuck that past me. I found that petty. Technically, it’s insubordination. And sure, I do have an affinity for rare juices that often times are flown in from abroad - but it’s super rare and classy juice. Basically an investment. I’m talking flavors of kool aid and capri sun you’ve never heard of, as they were never released to the public. Some billionaire russian oligarch bought the rights to these secretly flavored capri sun for his children, and capri sun corporate said, “heck yea, we’ll take the money up front, we’ll just give the public a clear version of fruit punch and call it a day”. That’s the kind of juice I was getting my hands on. Collector level goods. And for my own colleagues to go behind my back and say, “No more fine-juices”… it feels like a knife to my heart. I still had enough of a budget to get a solid snack rotation in the works, but it was never the same as the good times: fine-juices on tap in my office, a few small chocolate fountains, and a 24/7 salad bar. Rarely used, but it definitely made me feel healthier just having it around. At the end of the day, the snack budget cuts killed my motivation to remain employed at Qualcomm. That, and they discovered I never graduated from college.
